TIPS FOR A NEW NICU PARENT
Most parents that enter the NICU are not aware that this will be their home for a while, nor have they ever been there before. The NICU is an experience that will break you if you don't know how to navigate it. Just like any new experience, you must give yourself time to understand your surroundings. The first few days adapting to being a hospital parent was a whirlwind, and there is so much I wish I knew. Now that I am on the other side of the NICU, I want to join forces with my NICU primary nurse and share our top 3 tips for new parents to the NICU. My primary nurse was our saving grace, and I am so thankful for her guidance and support throughout our 99 days.
Nurse Perspective:
Take care of yourself! Be sure to eat, drink, sleep, and take breaks. Consider your nurses and NICU care as an expensive babysitter. If you want to take a break but don't want to go too far from your child, utilize the free resources in your hospital. SCH has free massages for parents, a meditation chapel, yoga classes, a snack and coffee cart, a therapist, and more to help the parents get through hard times. See if your hospital has any resources to make your story more comfortable.
The NICU is a roller coaster. Changes happen all the time, and progress does not happen linearly.
If you are stressed, and family/friends are asking for updates all the time, assign one person to update all of the other people in your life. You can also use CaringBridge; it's a way to build a specialized site to make updates, share pictures, and start a fundraiser. Your family and friends can comment and share their wishes, intimately and privately.
Parent Perspective:
Learn your communication language: The doctors will take your lead for how you want to receive information about your child. For instance, if you want daily updates, make that known to your primary nurses and resident. If you wish to know all the details, then let them know that, if you find it overwhelming, let them know you just want a summary and only the most critical information. Setting clear expectations allows you to advocate for your child fully.
Your care matters! As my primary nurse said, take care of yourself. I was running myself tired for the first few weeks. I wanted to be there for every moment, and I felt immense guilt if I was doing anything for myself. I quickly learned that if I was not well-rested, then I couldn't give Caliyah the love and care she deserved. So my husband and I created a schedule, we took turns with our visits. Your schedule will depend on your proximity to the hospital. For us, it was a 40-minute drive so we would have designated off days. On those days, we spent quality time together, and then Zoom called our daughter. Find a routine that works for you and stick to it!
Play an active role in your child's cares: I would be bedside actively watching her nurses, observing how they handled her cares, what they did when an alarm would go off, asking questions about her baseline and vitals. The more I hung out bedside, the more I learned about Caliyah's needs. I slowly started to do more and more of her cares myself. By two months in, I was so confident and comfortable caring for her. As you begin to transition home, this will help tremendously!